Look Mom, No Hands
OIL EXECUTIVES HAVE HANDS. DEPROGRAMMING CONSERVADROIDS ONE BLOG AT A TIME©
OIL EXECUTIVES HAVE HANDS.
IS BUSH FINALLY having a meltdown? This is like something out of a Joan Crawford movie! And what a gutter mouth on Dubya! I mean imagine how he sounded before he found Jesus! But before I get ahead of myself - rumors are flying that things are getting mighty ugly at Castle Crawford now that everyone knows the king has no clothes! Perhaps his "vacation" is actually a convalescence. I don't know how true this story is but history shows (i.e. Nixon's meltdown, Ronnie's short workdays, Nancy's tirades and Bill's dalliances) that there tends to be more than just a grain of truth to these Whitehouse rumors. Well, it sure sounds like classic Dubya. We all knew this creep was a bully but apparently now the old outhouse door is flying off its hinges. Not unlike Dorothy's house in the Wizard of Oz - remember that story involving a wicked witch and a city led by a wizard - who is actually controlled by a white-haired man hiding behind...ok, too creepy. And By the way, when then hell do we get to wake up from our nightmare? Oh Auntie Em, where are you??? I'm guessing on that last one that the job they still need to finish is the final coat of gilding on those ornamental turrets for Halliburton's HQ in Umm Qasr. Well, in any case now that he's relieved me and the rest of the country of our silly doubts, we can go back to the "country's business"...bashing gold star moms, outing CIA agents and shredding John Robert's paper trail. And why can't that lazy Mexican Attorney General use the Patriot Act to lock up all those commie ditch-dwelling dissenters who are standing in the way of Freedom!! Well, hopefully George will have time to get back to his bike rides and brush clearin' with Uncle Dick.
“Step 1: Admitted we had a problem and that our lives had become unmanageable.”
- Alcoholics Anonymous
Like any addiction, America’s dependence on oil is making our country increasingly unmanageable. Our near-term future is actually quite predictable. It is a well-worn path followed by every alcoholic, cigarette smoker and compulsive gambler. We won’t fix our problem until we “bottom-out” and face recovery straight in the face. Intervention is required but the first step is actually admitting we have problem…Houston.
Denial is a powerful element of addiction for a very good reason. If you are an addict, be it booze, pills or Skittles fruit candy (my vice) you have become one precisely because facing your problems is so daunting and repugnant a task, that harming your body, losing your friends and ruining your life actually becomes a preferable alternative! This is clearly not rational and such warped thinking can only be achieved with lots and lots of D&D (drugs and denial). It is a vicious cycle where things get worse from the drugs, resulting in a need for more drugs and more reasons to escape. Until the very end, denial keeps the addict blissfully unaware even when it is as clear as day to everyone around them. The downward spiral doesn’t end until it can no longer be ignored. For addicts, this is called “bottoming out” and it is the first and most important step in recovery. Ironically, “bottoming out” is almost celebrated in the recovery world because a) by definition, there is nowhere to go but up and b) the addict has now learned that they have to face their issues head on. They can no longer put a band-aid on a bullet hole. So begins a long, slow, painful process of learning how to live all over again but learning a better way to live.
And what, exactly is the “right way” to live? Turns out, at its simplest, it is a life of service, of helping others. Twelve-step recovery is founded on the principle that addiction is simply obsessive-compulsive behavior. You stop being obsessive when you stop being self-centered and begin thinking about others and living “outside of yourself”. No one who learns this escapes feeling skeptical that a concept so simple can work as a philosophy of life. Fewer still, overlook the irony inherent in the fact that the less energy you spend trying to make yourself happy, that happier you actually become. However, anyone who’s been through recovery or is close to someone who has, knows exactly what I’m talking about.

SORRY CHARLIE
Worked great with Fleet. Never had a problem with overdrafts. All of a sudden I'm hit, wham! wham! wham! Three time in a row. What the hell is going on? Turns out, B of A changed the accounting algorithm such that you never know how much money you have in your account. What a helpful service that is! All a part of their "higher standards". You see, when I use my Visa debit card, say to buy $50 worth of groceries, they take the $50 out and "freeze" those funds "pending" a final debit from the account. No problem there. Well what's different with B of A (which they didn't bother to tell me) is they then PUT THE MONEY BACK IN YOUR ACCOUNT FOR 3 DAYS. The funds are no longer frozen. Then three days later, you've withdrawn the money, not knowing it is suppose to be covering a debit transaction (you still with me?) and BOOM....Overdraft. $35.00 fee. They can make an easy $100. off each customer before they figure it out. Add to that all the money they save "Walmarting" the banking industry and your talking about a serious chunk of change (but don't think they'll cash your penny rolls). Of course, when these idiots get themselves into another banking crisis who do you think is going to bail them out? Organized crimes got nothing on these guys.
SHAME ON YOU BANK OF AMERICA
People take their hard-earned money (even harder to earn after you FIRE THEM) and deposit it in your institution with the expectation that you will uphold your fiduciary duty to them. Instead you violate the public trust with hidden fees, confusing loan and credit card terms, bait and switch interest rates and other unscrupulous practices. You're a bunch of thugs.
BOTTOM LINE, BOYCOTT BANK OF AMERICA. They are a greedy, unethical mega-corporation and their service sucks (and I haven't even mentioned the credit card horror stories) - which brings me to Alan Greenspan and his "independent" Federal Reserve. They, along with the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (say that 3 times fast) are supposed to be regulating the outrageous practices of these banks. Talk about asleep at the switch! What a GOP party hack Greenspan's turned out to be! Anyway, if any of you have your own bank horror stories I'd love to hear them. Also, feel free to share them directly with the OCC (who is supposed to regulate Nationally chartered banks like BofA). The number for the OCC is 800-613-6743 or visit their website [click on this post's title link]. Either way, it's the best way I can think of to welcome my new neighbors.
For more information, read this article from Business Week.


Something occurred to me recently. The reason they call that part of the body above one’s stomach a “chest” is because, like many chests, it holds a treasure. Locked behind a fortress of bosom and ribcage lies the greatest treasure anyone - rich, poor, successful - destitute, joyful, despairing - anyone will ever own. A treasure that, secure in its chest, can only be taken from you with your permission. Giving another the key to your heart is the ultimate gift - an act of awesome trust and selfless love. Some would say it is foolish, reckless. Others may repost it is the only way to enjoy the riches of that which lies hidden in a rib cage. I say there is truth and fallacy in both of those things. The mistake is made in proffering access to this vault without ever taking inventory yourself. For even in light of all its riches, so many never open their own treasure chest and look to see what lies inside. Is it for fear that it might instead be Pandora’s Box, holding horrors that even the bravest individual dare not face? If it is a trap, I advise triggering it first and releasing its steely grip from your broken nose before graciously offering this treasure trove to the love of your life. This act of chivalry is a test of your love and love is the only way to fully enjoy the riches that lie inside you. Completing this task, passing this test, allows you to share your treasure, your love, without fear. For it is a fearless soul indeed that embarks on the journey of private exploration, the greatness of which is only exceeded by the rewards inherent in such an adventure. Today I am packed, fastened and geared up - ready to begin a trip to the very tundra of my soul and hoping to return a hero.