VH1 Presents: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? ~ ~ The Founding Fathers

Benjamin Franklin

Ben's appearances have been substantially limited lately as he remains sporadically plagued with bouts of rheumatism. He turns 300 in January (making him almost as old as Joan Rivers). Health permitting, he plans to "party-downward" at the start of next year. "You only turn 300 once in your life and dammit, I'm still fond of the ladies and they are still fond of me."

Following the disasterous presidential elections of 2000 and 2004, Ben eliminated the electoral college because, as he put it, "Aside from the whoppee cushion and healthcare, it was the stupidest invention I ever had."

George Washington

Following the "Washington Scandal" in the year..well, pick any...George got fed up with politics and went back to his farm in Virginia.

George has reportedly mellowed in his old age and friends say he is much more pleasant to be around. His live-in nurse put it this way, "He says it's because he doesn't have to commute to work anymore. I think it's the fact that he finally got rid of those rotted wooden teeth and got himself some of them fancy dental implants. I mean the guy's been eating nothing but applesauce for 250 years! Wouldn't you be moody? One things for sure, his breath is a lot better."

Alexander Hamilton

Many people aren't aware that aside from being the first Treasury Secretary, Alexander (Al, by his friends) founded the Bank of New York in 1784 as America's first nationally chartered financial institution and the oldest U.S. Company still operating under its original charter.

Alexander still works as a part-time teller for the bank. "Well, it was either this or collecting shopping carts at Wal-Mart." However, his 3% annual salary increases have really added up and he is currently making $48 billion a year. "Don't you just love compound interest?"

John Hancock

"Ah, the signature." sighs John in a recent appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. "No matter what I accomplish, its what I'll always be remembered for. I guess there are worse things. I'm very lucky. I have my health, a great career and a boyfriend who really cares about me. My signature wasn't the only thing flamboyant about me Ellen and it feels so good to finally be honest about my sexuality."

Yes, not only was John Hancock once governor of Massachusetts, he was instrumental in the recent adoption of the state's same-sex marriage rights. "I am Mitt Romney's worst nightmare" he boasts. When John isn't stumping for gay-rights, he flourishes his creativity as a women's wear designer at the House of Dior.

Thomas Jefferson

A creature of habit, Tom still wears his powdered wig and has a strong disdain for today's short hairstyles.

In 1998, Tom was forced to declare personal bankruptcy after it was found that he owed child support to 67 million mixed-race American's who could genetically prove they were his direct descendants.

Never before displayed to the public, Tom wrote a very rough early draft of the Declaration of Independence. Below is an original proof, heavily edited by Ben Franklin.

That's all for this weeks episode of VH1 Presents: Where are they Now?. Join us next week when we take an inside look at the current lives of the world's most notorious Dictators.

Copyright 2005. VH1 is a production of Viacom International. All rights reserved.